Love, Sincerity, and Imitation

I’m going to call this as Irrational Health post 4.5. It’s just going to meant to be a lead in because I honestly couldn’t do, at least, that first topic justice right now, without a little more organization and poignant articulation. I wrote about sincerity and resiliency a while back. The general takeaway from that was that people have gotten good at being resilient (at all costs), but have let sincerity take a back seat. Further, to quote myself, “Resiliency is great, but if you intend on simply pushing away the little voice in your head, for a lack of a better word, then any success is just simply trophy with no inscription.” If I were to make a list of my top five quotes right now, that would probably be number two. People have grown too comfortable with convenience that eventually all of their choices end up being short-sighted and insincere. The inevitable conclusion, again was that this prolongation of insincerity might lead you to success, but it just won’t be meaningful success. You will have gotten somewhere without the people or the person that would make it worthwhile, when it comes to relationships. This is our lead in to the introduction of the topic of love into our Irrational Health framework.

I’ll ask you to right now think about the purest romantic love that two human beings could be capable of. What are the qualities of such a relationship? To name a few: purity, trust, loyalty, resiliency, sincerity, and faith. Now, think about what most modern relationships are like. What are some of the general qualities of modern relationships? To name a few again: short-term thinking, convenience, a lack of faith, lust, corrupt resiliency, and self-centeredness. We are again speaking generally. The societal culture we’ve built up around independence, coupled with various other factors, including things we’ve talked about here, such as feminism, has lead to an acceptance that love is fleeting, it is seemingly limitless (ie. how many people have you loved throughout your life), and more than anything love takes a backseat to convenience. It never ceases to amaze me the general acceptance around the notion that people “learn from relationships.” Think about it. What does that really mean to learn something from a relationship? What do people learn? How do they apply it? Does it really help or do people end up settling down eventually out convenience? What does the divorce rate say about all of this? I’ll leave all of these questions open-ended for now, but you’d have to be blind not to put this altogether to realize that learning from relationships is a justification for convenience. It’s likely a myth just the same as feminism. I mean people say this all of the time and I’m sure that a person at random would have a hard time giving you a solid lesson that he/she learned and how he/she applied it later on in a relationship. It’s a sinkhole. It’s get out of jail free card. The reality is (and perhaps I’ll preface this with a disclaimer of possible bias for now) that value is lost with every relationship modern people have, because the opportunity cost of moving on to someone else decreases at a seemingly exponential rate. It gets to a point where a relationship can be strictly utilitarian and you’re someone wondering why your marriage is so stale. Really? You can’t put a few pieces together and realize that you likely left someone behind who make your present a thousand-fold better had you only had the strength to not give in to selfishness and convenience. Most people attempt to imitate purest form of love they’ve ever had, but let’s be honest, an imitation can be nice, but it’s never as good as the original. 

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Resiliency and Sincerity

“A man can be measured by his resiliency, yes, but resiliency without sincerity amounts to about as much getting past a mountain without remembering where you were going. A person who will stop at nothing to achieve something will inevitably amount nothing in the grand scheme of things. Sincerity gives resiliency meaning. Followup with this in the next Irrational Health post.”

This post has been long overdue. It can be considered the official two and half post of Irrational Health. Resiliency is one of those things that I believe has been butchered into some sort of tainted version of what is generally considered a positive trait. A person who can make it past a series of challenges and still have the ability to continue on is someone who will say will eventually succeed with whatever he/she is wants to achieve. The caveat is that an achievement is really only a success if you haven’t had to sacrifice who you are along the way and what people generally sacrifice is their sincerity, which is to say their genuine interest in the cost. They’ve cut corners, moral boundaries, or their own moral code in order to ensure self-preservation and success. Simply put, this is corrupted resiliency. It’s not growth. It’s not success. It’s a shadow of what you could’ve achieved if you had done something not necessarily the right way, but without an infraction upon your sincerity. The takeaway for this late Irrational Health post is that one of the causes of a lack of achievement when a person has accomplished something can generally be attributed to the way in which they obtained that success. Resiliency is great, but if you intend on simply pushing away the little voice in your head, for a lack of a better word, then any success is just simply trophy with no inscription.